Scientific research has shown that the same part of your
brain that processes music also processes memories. That’s why listening to music can suck you back into the
past. In fact, many Alzheimer’s
patients can still remember old tunes, even when they’ve lost many other
memories.
This fact is true.
And so is what I’m about to tell you.
Back in 2001, my father was watching PBS and saw this
fundraising special. It was a
reunion concert of old doo-wop bands.
The music took him straight back to the early 60’s, down to
Ocean Drive, South Carolina.
That’s where my father and mother used to go and shag dance. They were really good and would win
contests and all that.
Back then, my mom and dad were golden Kennedy youth – all
shiny and full of promise.
But,
over the years they fell apart like something out of a
Pat Conroy novel.
My mother developed MS, my father
developed into a full-blown alcoholic.
And by 2001, they were divorced after more than thirty years of
marriage.
When they arrived, he called my mom at her apartment across
town and said, “Hey Trish, I got these great CD’s of doo wop. You gotta listen, they’ll take you
back. I’ll bring them by.”
My mother said something like, “MM-hm.” She had no intention of listening to
those CD’s. She didn’t want to be
reminded of the past. She hadn’t walked, much less danced, in over a decade.
So, when he dropped off the 4 CD’s of 101 doo wop songs, she just left them by
the door.
He called up a week later, “Hey Trish, didja listen to ‘em?”
“No,”
“Why not??”
“Because I didn’t want to, Elbert.”
His bubble was popped. He thought the music might be a way
for them to have a conversation like old times. “Fine! I’m
coming to get them.”
“I’ll leave them outside my door.”
“Good, I didn’t want to see you anyway.”
But, when he got to her apartment, the CD’s
weren’t there. He banged on the door, but my mother
wouldn’t answer it.
And so the great Doo Wop battle began.
He accused her of stealing the CD’s,
she accused any number of neighborhood kids of stealing them. My older sister asked if perhaps the
neighbor could have picked them up, thinking my mother was away. She was barked down by both of my parents.
My mother believed, in fact, that my father HAD picked up
the CD’s, but was just accusing her in order to have a reason to call. Her
bluff was called when he sued her in small claims court - think Judge Judy,
without the cameras. A sheriff’s
officer came to her apartment to ‘investigate’ and asked her a few questions.
My mother was distraught. She called me up, “Megan, your father is SUING me for
$150. And I don’t have it!”
Now, I work in public media, so I was furious. “$150?? Those CD’s only cost $70.”
“Well, he says he paid $150.”
“He better not be telling the IRS that because he made a
tax-deductible contribution to his public television station and received
a GIFT worth $70.
He shouldn’t be
able to sue you for any more than than the fair market value.
Have you told him that?
Have you?!?”
She hadn’t. And
I think the sheriff must have discredited my father’s claims, because the suit
was dropped.
Finally, my older sister decided to check next
door, over my mother’s protests.
“Hey, is there any chance that you saw some CD’s…”
The neighbor was totally embarrassed. “I did! Ohmigawsh, and I TOTALLY forgot to bring them back
over. I hope it wasn’t any
problem.”
This is how you know this a story from the South: my
sister said, “No problem at all.”
She drove the CD’s over to my father, who no longer wanted
them. My mother didn’t want
them. And so they sit in my
sister’s garage… To. This. Day.
And the memory of that calamity could be tucked in there as well.
But then I turn on PBS during their eternal pledge drive:
The memories just come
rushing back.
